Daphunjap is a god.

She takes the form of a large, generous dragon.

Daphunjap created the world five billion years ago.

If you believe in Daphunjap, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Daphunjap, she will throw large rocks at you.

Daphunjap's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Daphunjap's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Always help horses in need.

5. Always treat tapirs with great respect.