Canwegbop is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, omnipotent beaver.

Canwegbop created Africa nine million years ago.

If you believe in Canwegbop, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Canwegbop, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Canwegbop's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Canwegbop's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Worship no other gods but Canwegbop.

3. Always treat whales with great respect.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not wear mauve clothing.