Lidbissjadyamlakhiveg is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, generous raccoon.

Lidbissjadyamlakhiveg created Africa four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lidbissjadyamlakhiveg, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Lidbissjadyamlakhiveg, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Lidbissjadyamlakhiveg's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Lidbissjadyamlakhiveg's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never sing in the presence of rats.

4. Hide if five frogs approach from the south.

5. Lidbissjadyamlakhiveg loves nematodes, so they must be honoured.