Dibmisdap Dussdubspag is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, awe-inspiring lizard.

Dibmisdap Dussdubspag created an atom three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dibmisdap Dussdubspag, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dibmisdap Dussdubspag, it will turn you into a snail.

Dibmisdap Dussdubspag's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Dibmisdap Dussdubspag's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never mention voles.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.