Xuckjiphog is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, happy horse.

Xuckjiphog created snails two million years ago.

If you believe in Xuckjiphog, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Xuckjiphog, it will destroy your home planet.

Xuckjiphog's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Xuckjiphog's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Xuckjiphog loves doves, so they must be respected.

3. Do not shave your legs.

4. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a room before entering it.

5. Never eat green fruit.