Wonontshav is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, able goat.

Wonontshav created the Large Magellanic Cloud five million years ago.

If you believe in Wonontshav, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Wonontshav, he will jump up and down on your head.

Wonontshav's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Wonontshav's Holy Commandments

1. Wonontshav loves manatees, so they must be honoured.

2. You must pray to Wonontshav nine times a day.

3. Always help shrews.

4. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Wonontshav.