Fumgeplun is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, overgenerous bear.

Fumgeplun created a strange quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fumgeplun, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fumgeplun, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Fumgeplun's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Fumgeplun's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never think ill of sick goats.

3. Worship no other gods but Fumgeplun.

4. Always treat tortoises with great respect.

5. Respect your elders.