Lakbonkjap is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, tranquil rat.

Lakbonkjap created Asia twelve years ago.

If you believe in Lakbonkjap, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Lakbonkjap, he will manifest in front of you.

Lakbonkjap's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Lakbonkjap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not trade with those who eat limes.

5. Do not listen to music.