Jattipfat is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, irritating raccoon.

Jattipfat created Mount Everest three billion years ago.

If you believe in Jattipfat, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Jattipfat, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Jattipfat's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Jattipfat's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not shave your back.

3. Jattipfat must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never talk about stars.

5. Do not stand on grass.