Sigtoffen is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, duplicitous skunk.

Sigtoffen created the cosmos eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sigtoffen, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Sigtoffen, he will not invite you to parties.

Sigtoffen's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Sigtoffen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Put Sigtoffen first in all things.

4. Never talk about pigs.

5. Do not covet oxen.