Cipbonkrilldiss is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unthoughtful raven.

Cipbonkrilldiss created Europe seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cipbonkrilldiss, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cipbonkrilldiss, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Cipbonkrilldiss' most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Cipbonkrilldiss' Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Worship no other gods but Cipbonkrilldiss.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not dye your hair white.

5. Always treat ducks with great respect.