Largtamsabhitfodjen is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, smart squid.

Largtamsabhitfodjen created the Large Magellanic Cloud eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Largtamsabhitfodjen, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Largtamsabhitfodjen, she will turn you into a mouse.

Largtamsabhitfodjen's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Largtamsabhitfodjen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dolphins.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never feed strawberries to hamsters while wearing magenta rings.

4. Never eat garlic.

5. Never hurt horses.