Sidgebbarn Dadzodken is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, merciful mink.

Sidgebbarn Dadzodken created humankind five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sidgebbarn Dadzodken, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Sidgebbarn Dadzodken, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Sidgebbarn Dadzodken's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Sidgebbarn Dadzodken's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear fawn rings.

2. Do not hurt gulls.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never think about gravity.

5. Do not wear lead on your body.