Sogkamwabdusslinwap is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, unthinking deer.

Sogkamwabdusslinwap created humanity four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sogkamwabdusslinwap, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Sogkamwabdusslinwap, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Sogkamwabdusslinwap's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Sogkamwabdusslinwap's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five gulls approach from the west.

2. Do not wear silicon on your body.

3. Never eat strawberries.

4. Never talk about mites.

5. Never look at stars.