Quagyamhig is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, vain hamster.

Quagyamhig created time and space eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quagyamhig, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Quagyamhig, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Quagyamhig's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Quagyamhig's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at nebulae.

2. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Run away if six badgers approach from the east.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.