Dobnuttvonk is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, grumpy newt.

Dobnuttvonk created Mount Everest three million years ago.

If you believe in Dobnuttvonk, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dobnuttvonk, it will send minions to preach to you.

Dobnuttvonk's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Dobnuttvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never go into turquoise rooms.

5. Always look after injured gulls.