Dinvonkfed is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, witty centipede.

Dinvonkfed created oxygen two billion years ago.

If you believe in Dinvonkfed, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Dinvonkfed, he will curse you with boils.

Dinvonkfed's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Dinvonkfed's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear cyan.

2. Dinvonkfed loves snakes, so they must be respected.

3. Do not dye your hair green.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never think about cell theory.