Yaktalhiv is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, merciful jellyfish.

Yaktalhiv created a strange quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yaktalhiv, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Yaktalhiv, she will jump up and down on your head.

Yaktalhiv's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Yaktalhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry capybaras.

2. Always help sick cats.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never bounce in holy places.

5. Always wear brown.