Quimhog is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, compassionate lobster.

Quimhog created the Sun seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quimhog, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Quimhog, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Quimhog's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Quimhog's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in the presence of snails.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate squirrels.

3. Never think ill of sick hamsters.

4. Always wear turquoise.

5. Do not kill grasshopers.