Daphaplogtigstanfabquill is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, proud faun.

Daphaplogtigstanfabquill created the Cigar Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Daphaplogtigstanfabquill, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Daphaplogtigstanfabquill, he will turn you into a rat.

Daphaplogtigstanfabquill's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Daphaplogtigstanfabquill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never eat peas.

5. Never feed peanuts to turtles while wearing turquoise corsets.