Tonjatmad Dutkarkom is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, loving dog.

Tonjatmad Dutkarkom created light four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tonjatmad Dutkarkom, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Tonjatmad Dutkarkom, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Tonjatmad Dutkarkom's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Tonjatmad Dutkarkom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear tin on your body.

2. Do not speak about oranges.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate doves.

4. Never look at stars.

5. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a building before entering it.