Bepvenyam is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, all-powerful mink.

Bepvenyam created bats five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bepvenyam, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bepvenyam, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Bepvenyam's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Bepvenyam's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about galaxies.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not cook food in pots.