Ziglipjam is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unselfish hippopotamus.

Ziglipjam created Europe seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Ziglipjam, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Ziglipjam, it will turn you into a mole.

Ziglipjam's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Ziglipjam's Holy Commandments

1. Geese are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

3. Do not eat peas.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate dolphins.

5. Do not covet oxen.