Butvagbim is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, narcissistic rhinoceros.

Butvagbim created a bottom quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Butvagbim, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Butvagbim, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Butvagbim's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Butvagbim's Holy Commandments

1. Butvagbim must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Butvagbim.

3. Do not hurt cats.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Do not make images of living things.