Kondotnan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, dishonest dugong.

Kondotnan created time and space two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kondotnan, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kondotnan, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Kondotnan's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Kondotnan's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear fawn.

2. Always make sure there are no seals in a room before entering it.

3. Always help sick sheep.

4. Do not shave your face.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.