Donfebfeb is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, unthinking squid.

Donfebfeb created vertebrates nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Donfebfeb, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Donfebfeb, he will curse you with boils.

Donfebfeb's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Donfebfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Do not laugh in public.

3. Hide if four gulls approach from the east.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Always take life seriously.