Pigfardodlimnuttmutdogved Yampagveg is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, cheerful tortoise.

Pigfardodlimnuttmutdogved Yampagveg created life seven million years ago.

If you believe in Pigfardodlimnuttmutdogved Yampagveg, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Pigfardodlimnuttmutdogved Yampagveg, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Pigfardodlimnuttmutdogved Yampagveg's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Pigfardodlimnuttmutdogved Yampagveg's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a room before entering it.

4. Run away from indigo dogs, for they are unholy.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.