Likveenkad Jiplopbun Cadnelbap is a god.

It takes the form of a large, stupid naga.

Likveenkad Jiplopbun Cadnelbap created a Higgs boson four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Likveenkad Jiplopbun Cadnelbap, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Likveenkad Jiplopbun Cadnelbap, it will turn you into a mole.

Likveenkad Jiplopbun Cadnelbap's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Likveenkad Jiplopbun Cadnelbap's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Likveenkad Jiplopbun Cadnelbap seven times a day.

2. Put Likveenkad Jiplopbun Cadnelbap first in all things.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always help mites.

5. Never wear pink hats.