Catwigtun is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, unthoughtful rhinoceros.

Catwigtun created an up quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Catwigtun, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Catwigtun, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Catwigtun's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Catwigtun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Always make sure there are no sharks in a building before entering it.

4. Run away if six eagles approach from the west.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.