Farmobshav Bastyikxen is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, irritating butterfly.

Farmobshav Bastyikxen created a charm quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Farmobshav Bastyikxen, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Farmobshav Bastyikxen, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Farmobshav Bastyikxen's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Farmobshav Bastyikxen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

2. Hide if five snails approach from the east.

3. Farmobshav Bastyikxen must be the most important thing in your life.

4. You must love Farmobshav Bastyikxen.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.