Dimkenfum is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, egotistical zebra.

Dimkenfum created humanity eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Dimkenfum, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Dimkenfum, she will make you grow a tail.

Dimkenfum's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Dimkenfum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear iron on your body.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Always make sure there are no otters in a room before entering it.