Honbaggen is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, selfish toad.

Honbaggen created a quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Honbaggen, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Honbaggen, he will curse you with boils.

Honbaggen's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Honbaggen's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Honbaggen.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Honbaggen on top of all buildings.

5. Never feed limes to pigs while wearing cyan jumpers.