Fennighom Kimyarlarp is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, cheerful jaguar.

Fennighom Kimyarlarp created dark energy five million years ago.

If you believe in Fennighom Kimyarlarp, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fennighom Kimyarlarp, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Fennighom Kimyarlarp's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Fennighom Kimyarlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always help seals in need.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not eat garlic.

4. Never write about comets.

5. Never eat green fruit.