Jonyimgab is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, idiotic unicorn.

Jonyimgab created the Black Eye Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Jonyimgab, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Jonyimgab, he will turn you into a rock.

Jonyimgab's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Jonyimgab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never wear shoes.

4. Do not hurt squirrels.

5. Never hurt moths.