Cutbogvonjonhaksawced is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, quiet horse.

Cutbogvonjonhaksawced created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cutbogvonjonhaksawced, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cutbogvonjonhaksawced, he will be very sad.

Cutbogvonjonhaksawced's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Cutbogvonjonhaksawced's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair black.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Feed all hungry grasshopers.

4. Never paint your face blue.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.