Japnulhas is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, unfair hedgehog.

Japnulhas created Mount Everest four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Japnulhas, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Japnulhas, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Japnulhas' most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Japnulhas' Holy Commandments

1. Japnulhas loves goats, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

3. Erect six zinc sculptures of Japnulhas on top of important buildings.

4. Always make sure there are no rats in a room before entering it.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.