Banvag is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, fast cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Banvag created a down quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Banvag, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Banvag, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Banvag's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Banvag's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate hamsters.

2. Hide from black dolphins for they are unholy.

3. Run away if three monkeys approach from the north.

4. Hide if nine moths approach from the south.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.