Quafflamflan is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, happy alligator.

Quafflamflan created the universe nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quafflamflan, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Quafflamflan, she will remove you from existence.

Quafflamflan's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Quafflamflan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Erect eight lead sculptures of Quafflamflan on top of important buildings.

3. Never hurt dogs.

4. Worship no other gods but Quafflamflan.

5. Do not skip in public.