Lintafnak is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, tranquil fish.

Lintafnak created dark matter six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lintafnak, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Lintafnak, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Lintafnak's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Lintafnak's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear gray.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not hurt cats.

5. Feed all hungry gulls.