Canzig is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, witless spider.

Canzig created oxygen four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Canzig, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Canzig, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Canzig's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Canzig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about black holes.

2. Never eat peas.

3. Birds are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

5. Never think ill of sick foxes.