Habpakzog is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, idiotic grasshopper.

Habpakzog created an electron eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Habpakzog, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Habpakzog, she will curse you with boils.

Habpakzog's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Habpakzog's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Habpakzog loves eagles, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Always obey Habpakzog's priests.