Wipfencam is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, humane unicorn.

Wipfencam created the Large Magellanic Cloud five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wipfencam, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Wipfencam, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Wipfencam's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Wipfencam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a building before entering it.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.