Vinortvin is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, witless elephant.

Vinortvin created an electron eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vinortvin, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Vinortvin, she will not care at all.

Vinortvin's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Vinortvin's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.