Bissfemlik is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, ill-tempered raccoon.

Bissfemlik created time and space three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bissfemlik, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bissfemlik, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Bissfemlik's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Bissfemlik's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if four badgers approach from the north.

2. Never wear purple ear rings.

3. Do not eat lentils.

4. Never paint your feet blue.

5. Never eat figs.