Nelbusyim is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, stupid finch.

Nelbusyim created carbon two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nelbusyim, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Nelbusyim, he will remove you from existence.

Nelbusyim's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Nelbusyim's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nelbusyim.

3. Do not eat gooseberries.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

5. Nelbusyim must be the most important thing in your life.