Rowfatyar is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, able seal.

Rowfatyar created a Higgs boson two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rowfatyar, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Rowfatyar, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Rowfatyar's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Rowfatyar's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

2. Do not eat onions.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always pray immersed in water.