Japbunlistkan is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, unthoughtful fairy.

Japbunlistkan created a charm quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Japbunlistkan, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Japbunlistkan, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Japbunlistkan's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Japbunlistkan's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Run away if seven hamsters approach from the south.

4. Japbunlistkan must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Erect four copper sculptures of Japbunlistkan on top of important buildings.