Tonmabzen is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, competent troll.

Tonmabzen created a Higgs boson nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tonmabzen, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Tonmabzen, he will come to you in dreams.

Tonmabzen's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Tonmabzen's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed peas to eagles while wearing turquoise boots.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Hide from cyan seals for they are unholy.

4. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.