Linspagfon is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, kind dog.

Linspagfon created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Linspagfon, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Linspagfon, it will jump up and down on your head.

Linspagfon's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Linspagfon's Holy Commandments

1. Always help capybaras.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. You must pray to Linspagfon four times a day.

4. Never laugh in holy places.

5. Linspagfon must be the most important thing in your life.
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