Zimcetvig is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, resourceful tortoise.

Zimcetvig created dark matter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zimcetvig, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Zimcetvig, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Zimcetvig's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Zimcetvig's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in the presence of seals.

2. Do not trade with those who eat lemons.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not stand on grass.